


Forever may not be as long as it seems

by soccer



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, LaF will appear at the very end, Minor Ell/Carmilla Karnstein, Minor Laura Hollis/Danny Lawrence, Periodical fluff, Perry too, Vamp!Laura AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3816154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soccer/pseuds/soccer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Carmilla and Laura are vampires. Laura is turned about 50 years after Carmilla. Together they help The Dean kidnap girls. That changes when Carmilla meets Ell. Laura makes some bad choices and so does Carm. Together, they may fall in love, or die trying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When Worlds Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Laura is changed by a mysterious stranger. Chapters will get longer, just getting my feet of the ground first.

The wind blows smoke around the city, causing it to mix with the air. Though, it is better than the stench of sewage in the street that was amplified by the heat. A young girl walks quickly through the streets of Bristol. The night is no longer young, climbing towards the midnight hour. She knows it was dangerous to stay out this late, worrying her father. He worried so easily since her mother died. She can't bring herself to regret her actions too much. She had enjoyed the company of the foreign books too much.

The streets would normally be busier, people drinking, sailors flirting with passing girls after months at sea, but today is quiet. Laura has seen about four people between the library and her current position. Probably due to the fact that the weather was abnormally cold. Maybe reading those last few books on painting and architecture was a bad idea. 

The air changes, heavier than before. Laura pauses, feeling like she is being watched. After a moment of hesitation, she quickens her pace. She thinks she hears footsteps behind her, but that could just be her heart pounding in her ears. She reaches into her pocket, fingers closing around a small blade, a “gift” from her father in order for some protection. For once, Laura is glad he is overprotective.

A shadow flashes in her peripheral vision, a dark, slim shape against the moonlight. She considers running, but know she would most likely trip over her dress or her own two feet. She stops, calming herself as much as she can, taking a deep breath in. 

“Whoever you are, know that I have a weapon. You will not get away unscathed,” her voice rings out in the street. She takes pride that her voice did not waver. 

Feeling a presence behind her, she takes the blade out of her pocket and attempts to turn around. An arm grabs her shoulder forcing her to stay facing forward. The hand is gentle, yet strong. From what Laura can gather, it is a female’s hand, too thin to be a man’s hand. Laura swallows audibly, causing the person behind her to chuckle. Yes, definitely a woman. 

“Where do you think you are going so late at night, my dear?” the voice husked in Laura’s ear. Much to Laura’s displeasure, her breath hitched. She couldn’t help it. That voice was scandalous, one that should only be used in the bedroom between lovers! She could only hope that the woman behind her didn’t hear. That was not the case, or maybe the women just liked to laugh like an angel all the time. 

_Don’t think like that Laura! She’s obviously been following you. You don’t even know what she wants._

“I am going home; my dad will probably be waiting for me. I was at-” 

“I know where you were, lamb,” the woman interrupted her. 

“Have you been following me?” Laura asked in a small voice, fear overcoming her moment of bravery. She already knew the answer, but was hoping to stall her attacker. A hum of affirmation is the only response. 

Pressure pierces her lower back. A moment of shock overcomes Laura, then the blinding pain. She attempts to scream, but it is muffled by a hand grasped firmly against her mouth. She struggled against the firm grasp that only seemed to be getting stronger, or maybe she was getting weaker. 

“Uh uh, can’t have you screaming and wake the neighbors, now can I?” The voice sounds pleased. How could anyone be happy with this? “Don’t worry; your life is just starting. Mother will take good care of you, show you the world. We will be together forever.” 

Laura had no clue what this stranger was talking about. Maybe it was the pain, making things confusing. Laura’s eyes flutter as she fights to keep them open. She knows if she goes to sleep, she won’t ever wake up. 

_Those medical journals are helpful after all. Told you dad… Maybe not the best time to be thinking that…_

Her efforts to escape grew weaker. She was fighting a losing battle. The edges of her vision blurred before fading all together. Her body grew limp in the other woman’s arms. “Trust me, beautiful; your life has changed for the better.” Kissing the side of her head, the woman picked up the slightly smaller girl bridal style. Unknown to the woman, Laura was still somewhat conscious. Despite herself, Laura gave a weak smile.


	2. In dying, you survived

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura awakes to find that strange woman from the night before, and she gets answers. Pretty much a filler chapter, but it is longer.

Laura wakes up to a pounding headache and a pain in her neck. Her body feels light, almost like she weighs nothing at all. She keeps her eyes closed against a pale light. Shuffling can be heard somewhere in the distance, maybe on the other side of a room? After a moment the shuffling stops.

“Well, look who’s finally decided to join us.” That voice, it is the same one as the night before. Was it the night before? Now that Laura thought about it, her body feels like it had been sleeping for a long time. In truth, she has never been knocked unconscious, so she is unaware of the procedure that comes with this feeling.

“You can open your eyes, can't you, darling?” the voice questions, concern subtly lacing the sentence subtle. Laura cracks an eye open in response. A sigh of relief echoes across the room. “Good, I thought I had messed up my first transformation somehow.”

“Transformation?” Laura’s voice rasped, as if it hadn’t been used for day. She noticed a thirst deep in her throat, but also somewhere else. Laura brings a hand to her throat. A gasp escapes and eyes widen as her fingers find two healing puncture wounds.

“Yes, sweetheart, you are a vampire,” the voice speaks with such ease, light, carefree, as if what she said wasn’t impossible. The woman must have read the look of disbelief and confusion on her face. “That bunched up face is very amusing, buttercup.”

“What you are saying is highly amusing to me.” Laura’s voice continued to rasp, though the annoyance shines through. “Where have you taken me? What do you want from me? Money? Send for my dad; he has money.” Laura borders on hysterical. The woman rushes over to the side of the bed.

“Laura, you have to calm down. You are safe. Nothing bad will happen to you.” Laura shifted back on the bed, trying to put distance between them.

“Nothing bad will happen to me? If I recall, you stabbed me!!” Laura paused mid rant. “Wait, did you call me Laura?”

“That is your name, is it not?”

“It is, but how did you know that?” Laura somewhat feared the answer.

“I have been following you, remember?” The woman sat on the edge of the bed and leaned against the far left bed post, a small smirk played on her lips. “But, like I said, you are a vampire, like me, a midnight walker if you wish, blood sucker, the living dead. Understand now, countess?” As she spoke, her words went from happy and light to being laced with malice and bitterness. Though it was so faint, Laura thought she had imagined it.

“I cannot say that I believe you. Those things are only fables.” The woman just rolled her eyes before locking them with Laura. Laura wanted to look away, but the intense look she saw there forced her attention.

“You are a naïve, provincial girl. You know nothing about this world,” she paused, the intense look fading from her eyes, replaced with a mischievous one. “Well, not yet.”

Laura shot her another confused look.

“Who are you?” Laura asked with bewilderment. Who did this girl (who was not much older than herself, if older at all) think she was? She talked as if she had inside knowledge of something that Laura could only dream of knowing. It frustrated her to no end. It didn’t help that this stranger was completely gorgeous with her slightly curly, dark brown hair and deep brown eyes.

_Now is so not the time Laura. She literally stabbed you in the back._

_But somehow you survived._

_But that doesn’t mean it was okay._

_She is really pretty though…_

_Well-_

_Now is also not the time to have split opinions._

_Nor is it the time to talk to yourself in your head._

The woman noticed her companion’s mind wandering. Instead of agitation, something that she would normally feel, she felt amusement. God, she was going soft. She just hoped that it was just because this child was her first.

Laura, snapping out of her argument with herself, gave her a pointed look.

“Well? Explain yourself,” Laura prompted. The woman gave her a slightly annoyed look. Laura assumed that was a default face for her. A sighed escaped those beautiful lips.

“My name is Carmilla.” Laura looks expectantly at Carmilla, who just raises an eyebrow silently.

“Ok, you already know my name. My next question is, what am I doing here?” Laura exasperated.

“You are going to help me.” Carmilla spoke as if was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Help you with what?”

“We are going to help mother with a project of sorts every few years. Between that, we are going to travel the world.” Sensing that Laura was not sold on this idea, Carmilla continued. “Haven’t you wanted to go to far off lands? See what you read in books? Study art in Venice? See the grand ball rooms of Paris? Watch history being made right in front of your eyes?”

Carmilla spoke with such passion that Laura was almost convinced that she did want all that. Of course, part of her wanted those adventures, away from a library, from the eyes of her over protective father. Laura’s eyes widened at the thought.

“What about my father? I am all he has left.” Then it dawned on her. “How long was I asleep?” Fear crept into her voice. Carmilla shrugged.

“Asleep, dead, I guess it makes no difference.” She waved her hand as she spoke. It bothered Laura the way she spoke like this was nothing. This was her life. Carmilla caught on to her agitation; coughing, she continued. “A couple of days. Your father has been looking for you.”

Laura stared at her hands folded on her lap.

“What do you want from me?” her voice was small, childlike.

“I want you Laura.” Carmilla reached across the distance, placing her hands on the blonde’s. “I know it is confusing now, but you will understand soon.” They shared in a moment of silence. Laura studied Carmilla’s hand on top of her own. She waited her heart to start pounding in her chest, a blush to overcome her features. It was a common occurrence when someone as beautiful as Carmilla was this close to her. But nothing came.

Moving her hands from underneath Carmilla’s, she brought them close to her heart. Waiting for the familiar beating against her hands, but that too was absent. She pressed her thumb into her wrist. Her pulse was the one constant, the one thing she could always count on, always find. Where her pulse once lived, now empty silence.

“What did you do to me?” her voice was still small, but now coated with anger.

“I killed you.”

“Quit saying that! Quit saying that like it means nothing! My life is something, my life has meaning.”

“Had meaning, chestnut. Like I said, you are dead. Your heart has stopped beating. You don’t even need to breathe.” Her voice cuts the air. Laura flinches at the knives that are Carmilla’s words. Tears stream down her face, slowly at first, before getting progressively faster.

She is not really sure why she is crying. She knows she has a lot to cry for- her life, her father, her future. Maybe she is crying for all those things. But mostly, she is crying for her heart, her heartbeat. She must be delirious. Of all the things to mourn, to mourn a heartbeat, a sound. After her mother died, she would count her heartbeat for hours. It took her mind off the loss she was not ready to face. Now, even that was gone.

Carmilla watched on, face hard as stone. No emotion shown through, but underneath the surface, a spectrum of emotions raged war in her mind. She wanted nothing more than to comfort the small, weeping girl. She knew firsthand how hard it was to adjust to this new life. But she also knew that Laura would want nothing from her right now.

In silence they sat. A few sniffles could be heard. Carmilla would wait until Laura’s crying had subsided. Time wouldn’t heal this, but friendship could. Though friendship would have to be in the distant future. Being friends with your killer wasn’t exactly normal. But time would fix that. She could wait forever if she had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to get the next chapter out in a few days, but I am also working on other projects, plus I have school and prom coming up. Thanks for reading, review if you feel like it. My tumblr is squeakylemons if you care.


	3. The longing for transition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura learns more about being a vampire and begs Carmilla for a favor.

Eventually, Laura stopped crying. Crying never solved anything, not when her mom died, not now. She looked for something to wipe her eyes with. A handkerchief entered her field of vision. She flashed Carmilla a watery smile, taking the cloth and wiping her face.

“Sorry, I am not usually this emotional. Well, I guess it makes sense all things considered…” Laura gave her a pointed, annoyed look. Laura realized that she would not get over her death easily, but it felt better to ignore the lost than wallow in it. Carmilla gave her a tight-lipped nervous smile. She had expected Laura to act with more hate and malice.

“So, you are a vampire?” Carmilla nodded. “And I am a vampire?” Another nod. Laura nods back. Her eyes bore into the red comforter. She runs a hand over it. It reminds her of home. She has a similar one on her bed. Had a similar one? It comforts her, touching something familiar.

Carmilla clears her throat, capturing Laura’s attention. She looks nervous, biting her lip, hands fidgeting.

“I am guessing you are thirsty.” It is more of a statement than a question. Laura swallows, noticing the pain that is thirst again. Carmilla reads these actions immediately. Sliding off the bed, she quickly walks, more like struts, across the room.

“Sorry the blood isn’t cold. I am not sure how you will like your blood. I prefer mine cold, but we haven’t found time to chill it in the cellar since its arrival.”

Carmilla picks up a bottle of red liquid. To anyone else, it would look like red wine. Hell, to Laura it looked like red wine, but as Carmilla removed the cloth covering the opening, Laura knew it was blood. It made her mouth water, which disgusted her somewhat. She no longer doubted she was a vampire. If she could smell blood from across the room and salivate at the aroma, there was no question in her mind: she became a vampire. She felt like crying again, but instead clenched her jaw and fought through the terror.

Carmilla poured out a glass full of blood before taking it over to the bed. She resumed her place at the bottom left bed post. She took a small sip of blood before handing it to Laura, who looked at her questioningly.

“In case you thought it was poisoned or something,” she mumbled. Laura took the glass in her hands; she was practically drooling. The glass felt cool, but began to warm under her touch and the presence of the room temperature blood. Swallowing loudly, she brought the glass to her lips, scrunching up her face at the thought of this act. She could hear Carmilla chuckle from the end of the bed. Embarrassed, Laura quickly downed the glass. Once finished, she brought the handkerchief to her mouth, wiping off the any blood that remained on her mouth.

Now that the deed was over, she rolled her tongue against the inside of her mouth. It tasted tangy, rusty, like, well, blood, simple enough. It was smooth and didn’t taste as bad as she thought it would. It actually tasted sweet, but she felt satisfied with the one glass.

“I thought vampires drank blood straight from the source?” Carmilla chuckled at her innocent phrasing of the act.

“Yes, we usually do, but you are new. Mother didn’t allow me my first fresh meal until I was a few months old. For now, either her or I will drain someone and bring the blood back for you. It isn’t as good in my opinion, but blood is blood.” Laura paled as Carmilla spoke. She knew the fairytales said that vampires drank the blood of humans, but until recently, she didn’t think they existed.

“What’s the matter, dear?” Carmilla looked at her with a questioning glace, noticing Laura’s apparent apprehension.

“I… I didn’t… I mean I don’t…” Laura trailed off, looking back down at the empty, blood stained cup, wondering who she just drank. A pressure on her knee drew her attention away from her brooding. Glancing up, she was met with soft brown eyes filled with understanding. Laura placed her hand over Carmilla’s resting on her knee giving it a gentle squeeze.

Laura realized that she wasn’t alone in this transition. Carmilla went through this change at some point. She didn’t know if Carmilla had anyone besides “mother”. It seemed ironic to be grateful to your killer, not a feeling Laura thought she would ever feel.

“Umm,” Laura began, looking to Carmilla for encouragement, who nodded for Laura to continue. “How old are you?” Carmilla raised her eyebrows in surprise with a hint of amusement. Laura, misinterpreting this action immediately started to back track. “Not that you look old or anything!! You look really great, beautiful even.” Another quirk of an eyebrow. “I mean, anyone could see that you are highly attractive.” If Laura could, she would be blushing furiously. “What I am asking is when were you changed? And how old were you when you were changed? I know these seem like irrelevant questions, but I-“

Carmilla cut off this long winded rambling by placing a finger over Laura lips.

“You sure know how to talk. Have you always been this talkative?” Carmilla’s arm moved up as Laura nodded her head from underneath Carmilla’s finger. Carmilla laughed lighting and removed her finger from the blonde’s lips. Laura moved to open her mouth again. “Uh uh, no more talking for you, at least until you let me get in a word.”

Laura closed her mouth again.

“Good, now to answer your questions.” Carmilla smirked at the girl. “I was born in 1680 in Styria under the name Mircalla. I was at a ball when mother killed and turned me, but it was the best night of my life, when it truly began. I changed my name to Carmilla after that. Mother makes me change it ever few years so people can't track me or something, but to me, I am always Carmilla.” Carmilla again spoke with such passion about being a vampire. She honestly seemed to love it. Laura hoped that she would feel that way someday. If she had to live like this, she might as well enjoy it.

“I am guessing that means you are immortal?” Laura asked.

“I am. You are too.”

“How old were you?”

“18” Laura grinned for the first time since being changed.

“So, that means I am older than you?” Laura gloats. Carmilla narrows her eyes in annoyance before rolling her eyes and smirking. (She wouldn’t admit it, even to herself that it made her happy that Laura was growing accustomed to this transition.)

“I guess so, beautiful.”

They talked for a while, until right before sunset, about what it was like being a vampire. Laura was a bit excited to learn that she would be traveling the world. She always wanted to travel, but knew her over protective father wouldn’t allow such actions. Plus, she was a lady of class; destined to be married soon to a man she did not know. Truthfully, Laura always preferred women over men. So, Laura could admire that Carmilla was a highly attractive individual.

Though she was confused about the job she would have to do for the Dean (she wasn’t ready to call a women she never met mother quite yet), Carmilla would not go into detail about it other than it would be every twenty years. Laura tried to press for more, but Carmilla wouldn’t give.

Laura was still a bit wary of killing people and devastated about leaving her dad, but she looked forward to her new eternal life. Carmilla thought it was weird how well Laura was adjusting to being a vampire, but didn’t question it.

_Everyone grieves in their own way._ Carmilla thought.

“Carm?” Laura prompted.

“Hmm?”

“Can I see my father one last time?” Laura asked cautiously.

“I am not sure that will be a good idea, sweetheart… It will be easier for him, and you, in the long run, to think you were dead,” Carmilla spoke carefully. Leaving behind your family, without a word, was hard. Carmilla knew this firsthand. However, she also knew that it would be harder to watch your family grow old and die, their lives going on without you. “Mother forbade me from seeing my family after I turned. I assume she will do the same to you.”

“It can be quick, just to see him one last time, to know how he is doing,” Laura begged, flashing her doe eyes. Carmilla could feel herself weakening.

“No,” Carmilla said firmly, though her resolve was wearing.

“Please, the Dean doesn’t have to know,” Laura pointed out.

“Laura, it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“Pleeeaaaassssseee.” Laura grabbed Carmilla’s hands between her own, leaning over to look directly into Carmilla’s eyes. “I just want to let him know that I am okay, that I will be happy, to some extent.”

Carmilla hesitated. She understood the need for closure, but she knew the pain.

“Please Carm,” Laura said softly in a last-ditch effort. Carmilla looked away from the young girl’s eyes to their joined hands.

_Maybe this type of closure would be good for the girl._

“Ugh, fine, sweetheart,” Carmilla sighed, head bowed in defeat.

“Yes!” Laura tore her hands from Carmilla’s and jumped off the bed. Carmilla watched in amusement as Laura danced from one foot to the other in victory. Laura paused, realizing that Carmilla was watching her. Embarrassed, she sat down on the bed again, attempting to be graceful, but instead catching a foot in the tassels of the comforter, almost landing face first into the bed. Carmilla rolled her eyes, but they shined with amusement anyhow.

“And mother thought you would be a nice addition to the team, seeing as you were so properly brought up. ‘She’ll be graceful’ she said. ‘She’ll be smart’ she said. ‘She’ll understand the fashion trends’ she said.” Carmilla paused from her imitation of what Laura assumed was the Dean before looking Laura up and down. “No, not the fashion sense.”

“Excuse you; I did not pick this outfit out. I woke up like this.”

“But you would have picked it out, wouldn’t you, beautiful?” Laura opened her mouth, ready to deny the allegations. “Don’t even try to deny it. I’ve been following you for days, remember?” Laura’s argument immediately faded on her lips, face crumbling in defeat. “There is that highly attractive face again,” Carmilla teased, causing Laura to stick her tongue out at her. Carmilla chuckled before looking out the window at the setting sun. “We should probably get going if we want to see your dad before nightfall. Mother will be back in a few hours.”

Laura nodded quickly, getting, carefully, off the bed once more. She grabbed her shoes which were by the door. She quickly slipped them on before turning to Carmilla, who had done the same and was now standing next to a wardrobe on the opposite wall from the window.

“Let’s go.”

Carmilla led the way out the door. Paintings lined the hallways. Laura admired the scenic pictures more than the human portraits. Carmilla noticed Laura’s wandering eyes.

“See something you like, sweetheart?”

“These are amazing, but I don’t recognize the art style of some.” Laura pointed to a few of her favorites: a sunset over a skyline, a winter landscape of a cottage, and a waterfall in the moonlight. Carmilla looked at each picture with contentment before looking to Laura with adoration. Carmilla gave Laura a soft smile.

“You wouldn’t have seen that style before,” she paused. Laura gave her a confused look. Laura studied many art styles the year after her mother died, so she was surprised to see something unfamiliar. “I painted those.” Laura’s eyes grew wide as she looked between Carmilla and the paintings.

“They are amazing, Carm,” Laura exclaimed. Carmilla nervously kicked the ground with her boot.

“I have to occupy my time somehow. You will have an activity to pass the time too, eventually.”

Carmilla continued the way down the hallway to a staircase. She glided down each step. Laura was entranced by the way Carmilla walked. She was beauty. She was grace. Laura almost fell because of Carmilla. She shouldn’t attempt to walk down stairs while distracted. Carmilla appeared beside Laura in an instant, steading her. Carmilla laced her fingers with Laura’s.

“Maybe I should help you.” Laura felt the familiar feeling of blushing, without the actual physical act. Laura flashed Carm a grateful smile, holding on to her hand tightly. Together they descended the stairs. Once reaching the bottom, Carmilla removed her hand from Laura’s. Laura missed the feeling of another’s skin pressed against her own. In life, Laura never had many male suitors and even less “female companions” as her father called them. So, any human contact was enough to send her phantom heartbeat in a flurry.

They passed by a few maids. The girls went unnoticed by the maids. Laura assumed they knew she was here, but was trained to ignore their existence. It was like that in most upper class homes, though not her own.

Carmilla pushed open the large oak doors leading the way outside. Laura hesitated at the threshold, still in shadow of the doorway. Carmilla walked down the stone steps that led from the front door to the garden and walkway, pausing once she realized that Laura was no longer following her.

“What’s the problem, lamb?” Her words were impatient, rushed, serious. Carmilla did not want to get back after Mother did. She loved Mother, but knew the consequences of disobedience.

“You can, I mean we can, go outside…in the sunlight.” Yes, the sun was setting by the moment, but still in the sky nonetheless. Carmilla cracked a grin once again at this girl’s innocence. She chuckled before answering in a mocking playful tone.

“Yes, sweetheart, the sun doesn’t affect us like they say in fables. Though, it probably would be best if you don’t stay out too long. Our skin is a bit more sensitive than the normal human’s. Wouldn’t want your pretty skin to get burned.” Carmilla smirked at Laura seductively before breaking into a light grin, laughing at Laura’s embarrassed/nervous look. “Come on, we have to get a move on.”

Laura laughed along with Carmilla as she hopped down the stairs like a child, grabbing Carm’s arm. She led the way through the garden and out the iron gates before pausing.

“Umm, where are we?” Carmilla just sighed and pulled her to the left, towards town, keeping their arms linked.

The air felt cool and crisp, but Laura couldn’t really feel the cold anymore. The leaves were changing from their vibrant green to gold, red, brown, and yellow. Laura wondered if Carmilla would draw a picture of this for her. She always loved the transition seasons, where the earth would either grow or die. Laura glanced at Carmilla, seeing if she was as entranced by the leaves as Laura. But Carmilla looked towards the sky, the twilight hour drawing near. The light blue fading, giving way to pink, then purple, then gray, then dark blue, all coming together on one canvas: the sky.

“I love twilight. The colors are magical, yet every time I attempt to paint it, its beauty escapes my grasp. I don’t do it justice,” Carmilla spoke longingly. Laura just nodded along, understanding the girl perfectly, but not knowing what to say.

They walked in silence the rest of the way until they came to the edge of town a few minutes later. Laura was grateful that she walked to and from the library almost every day or else this walk would be difficult. Carmilla led the way, following back alleys, keeping to the shadows. The last thing they needed was for someone to recognize Laura and start asking questions. Before too long, they arrived at Laura’s house. Pausing outside the gate, Laura took a deep breath.

“What are you going to say to him?” Carmilla asked cautiously.

“I have no idea.”

“Well, you better think of something fast.”

“Why’s that?”

“He is walking this way.” Laura whips her head to where Carmilla points, eyes wide. He walked towards the gate from a side path that led to a garden her mother used to keep. He spent hours there after she died. A paper in his hand occupied his attention. He did not notice the girls’ presence until he was face to face with the gate, and thereby face to face with them.

His eyes showed his shock. His mouth hung agape like a fish, as if he had seen a ghost.

_That isn’t too far from the truth._

“Laura?” he asked in disbelief.

“Hi dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this chapter out before the weekend, and I did! Woo!! Prom is this weekend, then AP week, but I only have one of those so I should be able to write, hopefully. I don't plan on updating before this weekend is over, so ya. Also, I am working on another AU, so my writing will be split for the time being. Bear with me. Thanks


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura talks to her Dad, then to the Dean, then to Carm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. School was hectic, but now I'm graduated so woohoo. I have been working on a one-shot au that should come out in a few weeks. I am out of town with no internet connection for the next week. For those of you who also read the hospital au I've been writing, that may take a while to get out. Currently my one-shot is my priority and I will not be working on anything else till I get that out. Thank you for understanding and reading my stories.

“Hi dad.” An astonished, slightly terrified stare was the only answer. Laura looked between her father and Carmilla, sending the later a perturbed look. “I came to let you know I am alright.” Still nothing. “Dad, please, say something, anything!” Her voice became frantic.

“You're alive?” he asked in disbelief. Laura smiled and nodded hopefully. He returned her smile, eyes full of joy, before they turned hard. “Where have you been? I did not raise you to be out for days at a time. I have been worried sick about you, and I get nothing. You could have sent someone to tell me you were okay. For all I knew, you were dead or kidnapped, or god knows what else.” He voice grew louder as his speech droned on. But he stopped, paused, and looked down, tears streaming down his face. “I can't lose you too,” he whispered.

Laura rushed to him without thinking, arms open. She took him into a tight hug, burying her face in his shoulder, like she always did. In a moment, all was forgotten. Laura was still human. They were both just missing her mom, a typical Saturday. He breathes in the scent of his daughter, and freezes mid breath. He pulls back, placing his arms on her shoulders, keeping her at arm’s length.

He doesn’t speak for a few moments. Just stares at Laura, cradling her neck in his hands. His eyes are blank, almost to the point of void. Carmilla places her hand on Laura’s lower back, comfort, support. His eyes flicker briefly between Carmilla and Laura, fear creeping in.

Suddenly, he pushes Laura away, causing her to collide with Carmilla. He rushes back to the inside of the gate, shutting it quickly behind him.

“Dad, what-?”

“Stay away from me demon. You are no daughter of mine,” he spits. His words cut into Laura.

“It’s me, Dad.”

“No, you aren’t. I don’t know you.” He backs away slowly not taking his eyes off of the girls. “If you come back, I will not hesitate to destroy you. I don’t care if you look like my daughter. As far as I know, she died.” He quickly retreats back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

Laura watched with eyes wide in disbelief. A hand comes up to brush against her cheek. She flinches slightly at the contact before relaxing into it. Carmilla looks at her with sad eyes, fingers continually stroking her cheek. It takes a moment to realize what Carmilla is actually doing: wiping away tears.

Laura lets out a choked laugh. She thought she could hold herself together. In life or in the after life, she’s a burden. The ground is uncomfortable, but standing proved to be too difficult. The hand, Carmilla’s hand, remains on her face. A faint shushing noise could be heard over the cries.

“Laura,” Carmilla starts uncertainly, “I’m sorry. I knew this would happen. I should have tried harder to stop you.”

“It’s…it’s n-not your f-fault Carm,” Laura stuttered over her tears. “You didn’t know how he would react.” Laura paused, glanced at Carmilla through narrowed, watery eyes. “Actually, you know what, it _is_ your fault. You did this to me. You took me away from my father. You took me away from my life.” Laura slapped Carmilla’s hand away. She tried to stand up, but stumbled backwards into the fence. She collapsed to the ground, bringing her knees to her chest.

Carmilla stood back. She didn’t do feelings; she couldn’t do feelings, not in her line of work. Not knowing what to do, she sat down next to Laura, about a foot away, and waited.

It had been a long time since Carmilla thought about what she is, about what she does. She tended to ignore what she did when she was with Mother. Her life outside of being a monster made what she is worth it, at least to her. She tries not to think of the people she kills in order to remain alive, both in meals and in sacrifices. She needed to teach Laura the benefits that come with the sacrifices.

Eventually, Laura collapsed against Carmilla, leaning her head against the brunette’s shoulder. Her crying ceased, but her breathing was still irregular. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Carmilla spoke.

“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t make it right, but I am. I’ve come accept my life, but I would not wish it upon anyone.”

“Then, why? Why me?”

“I think she made me change you so that I would remember that I am a monster. I can delude myself against the truth, but that doesn’t make it false.” _Laura can’t know the truth. Not yet._ “Plus, if I refused, she would-”

“Kill you? That sounds better than the life you are living now.” Her voice wasn’t angry, just filled with questioning innocence. Her words weren’t meant to be knives against Carmilla’s skin, but it had the same effect, causing her to flinch. Laura brushed her fingers across the top of Carmilla’s hand, offering peace.

“No, death isn’t a good punishment. It only affects a person in the moment. No, Mother isn’t that gracious.” No details are given, but none are really needed.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Laura whispered in Carmilla’s arm.

“You were right, it is my fault. You could be in the library reading about God knows what if it weren’t for me. You and your dad would be gardening. You would be married to a nice man soon, have kids… Now you have nothing.” Carmilla’s voice was small as she thought about what she took from this girl and what she, herself, lost when she gained immortality.

“I have you,” Laura replied almost immediately. “And like you said, I can see the world now. I won't be tied down by anything. We can do it together.” Laura shifted her head up so she could look into Carmilla’s eyes. Carmilla furrowed her brow, confused as to why Laura was so forgiving. What gave her the right to be on the receiving end of Laura’s hopeful, adoring eyes?

“Sure, sweetie,” Carmilla promised uneasily. Laura offered her a small, half smile before placing her head against Carmilla’s chest, somehow finding comfort in the emptiness that echoed her own.

They sat in silence for a few moments. The sun was almost totally out of the sky.

“We need to go,” Carmilla whispered. Laura nodded against Carmilla’s body.

Laura sat up and leaned against the fence. Carmilla stood up and offered her hand to Laura. She pulled Laura up. Laura stumbled a bit due to the exhaustion crying brought forth. Carmilla caught her in her arms. Laura looked into Carmilla’s eyes again, with a type of star struck wonder. Only a small gap separated their lips, bodies flushed against each other. Laura’s eyes flickered down and leaned in, attempting to close the gap between them.

Carmilla pulled back, holding the smaller girl at arm’s length. Carmilla did not want to be someone’s “rebound”, just a way to find comfort in the face of despair. Carmilla flashed Laura a nervous smile before glancing at the floor. Laura’s eyes screamed confusion and hurt. It made Carmilla uncomfortable.

“Let’s go.”

Carmilla started walking back the way they came, but stopped when she realized that Laura was no longer following her. The smaller girl remained standing facing her old home. Probably taking in the memory her childhood home, most likely the last time she would see it, or at least in this way. She might come back to visit in a few years, but time changes the world, even if it doesn’t change her.

Carmilla tried to wait patiently, but after a few minutes, she returned to the girl’s side. Carmilla nudged Laura with her shoulder. Laura jumped slightly, lost in her thoughts.

“Laura, it’s time to go,” Carmilla said as gently as she could, voice barely above a whisper.

Laura nodded quickly, whipping some left over tears off her face. She takes a deep breath before turning to Carmilla.

“Let’s go,” she says with force. Her facial features hard, as if at any moment, she would break down. That was probably true.

The walk home was silent. The air heavy with sadness, but not with tension. Laura’s eyes remained on the road the entire way back to the mansion. Carmilla glanced over at Laura every few minutes. It pained her to see Laura so sad. She wanted Laura’s experience to be better than her own.

_It will be. I will make it better._

Soon, they entered the large entrance way. Immediately, Carmilla rushed Laura back up the stairs. Once in the room, Carmilla barked orders at Laura: take off her clothes, wash her face, put on a long, red dress, and slip into buckled, slightly elevated shoes. Mother expected the best from her children when she “graced them with her presence”.

Carmilla was just tying Laura’s dress when a knock echoed through the room. Immediately, Laura tensed. Carmilla, sensing this, put her hands on Laura’s shoulders.

“Don’t worry. That is just a servant to let us know she is waiting in her office,” she addressed Laura in a soft, quiet whisper. Her breath tickled the back of Laura’s neck, sending goosebumps down her body. Stepping in front of Laura, she addressed the person on the other side of the door with a firm, hard voice. “Tell her I am arriving with the new recruit momentarily.”

“She does not like to be kept waiting, mistress,” a muffled voice called through the door. It was obvious that the person was in fear of the Dean. This only increased Laura’s nerves.

“Do not tell me what she does not like. You have your orders, fulfill them,” Carmilla barked at the servant. A small acknowledgement floated through the door.

Laura looked at Carmilla’s back and shoulder. They were tensed, rigid. Coming up right behind her, Laura put her arms on Carmilla’s back. She ran up hands up and down the older vampire’s back, smoothing out the tense muscles. Carmilla melted under Laura’s touch and let out a shaky breath. She leaned back for a moment, before pulling away from the warm embrace.

“She was right though. Mother does not like to be kept waiting.” She glances over her shoulder, giving a small teasing smile to the girl behind her before heading towards the door. She took a deep breath before opening, almost as if collecting her nerve. Carmilla started walking down the corridor towards the opposite side of the house, not looking back to check to see if Laura was following.

Laura quickly followed the older vampire, not bothering to close the door behind her. She had to basically run to catch up to Carmilla. That girl can really book it, especially in those uncomfortable, buckled shoes. Laura always hated those types of shoes. She always wore cloth flats, maybe leather flats if she was going somewhere nice. Her nanny used to chase her around as a child, attempting to cram various types of painful, “fancy” shoes on her feet. Flat, cloth shoes were for the lower class citizens according to Nanny. Laura didn’t buy into this logic. If people were to walk anywhere, they should do it in comfortable shoes. However, seeing Carmilla walk away from her in those shoes that accented her butt through her black dress, Laura could reconsider.

Hurrying down the hallway, Laura eventually caught up with Carmilla, outside a door that could rival the size front door. Somehow the silver handles emanated a hard anger from the room. Laura gulped nervously. The woman behind this door would be part of her “life” forever according to Carmilla, who seemed to fear this woman, though Carm would never admit it.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Laura whispered to Carmilla.

“Well, you're going to have to. Mother does not let her helpers go,” Carmilla said with little sympathy. Laura glanced over at Carmilla. Carm’s hands were balled into fists. She looked even paler than normal, if that was possible for a vampire. Her eyes darted from the door to its handles. Her breathing was controlled, in for two, out for two. This did not help calm Laura’s nerves, but it seemed like she didn’t have a choice in the matter, so best to get it done sooner rather than later.

She nodded slowly once, catching Carmilla’s attention. They locked eyes for a moment, both swimming with fearful, uncertain emotions. Without looking, Carmilla put her hand on the door’s handle, hand still rigid. Laura nodded fast a couple of times and tried to give a reassuring smile, though it did little to encourage either of them. Carmilla broke eye contact as she started to open the door.

The door swung open to reveal a study lined with books. At the far end of the room sat a desk in front of a large window, but the deep red curtains were drawn, closing off any natural lighting. The room was lit dimly by candles scattered throughout the room and a fire roaring in the fireplace. The room overall felt homey, but the presence in the desk chair made the entire room cold.

A tall, pale woman with her hair tied back sat at the desk. Her eyes remained fixed on Carmilla and Laura who stood in the doorway. It took a few seconds to realize why they were waiting. Carmilla stared submissively, but expectantly, at the woman on the other side of the room. They needed permission.

“Nice of you to join me, Carmilla,” the woman said in a nice, even tone.

“Thank you for honoring me with your presence, Mother,” Carmilla spoke off script.

“I see you’ve managed your first transformation by yourself. I am impressed. I have taught you well,” the woman sounded overly pleased with herself, it made Laura’s stomach turn. This woman reeked of power.

“Thank you Mother, it is all because and for you.” There was a long pause, both parties waiting for something Laura couldn’t fathom.

“Now, Carmilla,” the woman spoke with a sigh in a sickly sweet tone. “You haven’t introduced our newest member. I thought I raised you better than that. Am I a bad Mother?”

“Of course not,” Carmilla spoke quickly.

“Do not interrupt,” the woman spoke firmly, staring Carmilla down from across the room. Carmilla visibly crippled from the encounter. “I will deal with you and your lack of respect later.” The woman waited for a response.

“Thank you Mother.” The woman smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, which were wide in anticipation.

“You both may come in now.” Laura glanced to Carmilla, who nodded her head subtly. Laura looked back to the woman, whose eyes were now narrow at the two girls.

Carmilla led the way into the room. Laura followed quickly behind her, attempting, in vain, not to draw attention to herself. The room seemed to stretch on forever, the desk and the woman waiting never getting any closer.

Finally they stood in front of the woman. Laura moved to sit down in one of the two chairs facing the desk, but a small cough stopped her. Laura looked to the source of the interruption, Carmilla, who shook her head once. Laura quickly righted herself next to Carmilla. The woman wore a sinister, yet somehow sweet smile.

“I see my daughter taught you nothing of manners.” Her eyes bore into Laura’s.

“It’s not her fault,” Carmilla quietly argued. The women’s eyes snapped to Carmilla, raged coated her irises.

“Now, now Carmilla, do we need to have another lesson in talking back? Obviously we need one in interrupting.” Her eyes flickered back to Laura. Laura flinched under her stare. “Tsk, now look what you’ve done, Carmilla. The girl is afraid.”

The woman stood from her chair and walked around the desk, passing Carmilla who remained stalk still, to stand behind Laura. She placed her right hand on Laura’s right shoulder bringing her mouth to Laura’s left ear.

“Though _my_ servants call me The Dean, I will allow you to call me Mother.” She paused, waiting for a response. Laura licked her lips, hoping she knew what this woman wanted.

“Thank you,” Laura paused, “Mother.” Laura could feel the woman, _Mother_ , smile.

“I’m not sure what my daughter has told you about what your new life will be like, but I want to make a few… rules quite clear.” She moved once again around the desk to sit down, hands folded on the desk. “When I am home, I expect nothing but your best behavior: nice dresses, what you have on will do, family meals, your presence if I have any meetings, and above all, your love.” She smiled warmly at her two daughters. “When I am not home, you may do what you like, so long as you do not reveal what you are to anyone outside this house. I expect you not to make a reputation. You are to be discrete. I will not tolerate anything interfering with my plans.

“On that note, I will only be home every twenty years between two and four months. During that time, you and Carmilla will be working for me. I will explain what that means when the time comes. Right now is an exception since you have recently joined us. Other than that time, you are free to travel about or remain here, but you must always keep be informed of where you are. Carmilla knows how to do that. Occasionally I will request your presence between sacrifices, but spend your time as you see fit.” Mother paused, thinking to herself. “Lastly, do not forget who is in charge. Though Carmilla made you, I made her. I am in charge. Do not betray me and do not abandon me.” She looked sternly between Carmilla and Laura, happy with the fear and submission present in their eyes.

“Laura,” it was the first time Mother said her name. Laura liked it better when Carmilla said it. “You are dismissed. Carmilla and I have a few things to discuss.”

“Thank you Mother.” Laura briskly walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her; she leaned against the cold wood, taking deep breaths.

That could have been worse. Well, she is the one outside the room, safe from the anger of Mother. Poor, Carm.

She couldn’t hear anything through the thick wood. Afraid that someone would see her and think she was attempting to eavesdrop, she slowly walked back to the room.

She discarded her shoes at the door. Laura had slight difficulties undoing the dress, but managed it with only a few strained muscles. She hung it in the wardrobe. Slipping on a nightgown, she climbed into bed, immediately falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

She woke to a dip in the bed. The only light in the room came from the moonbeams through the window. The person getting into the bed looked like an angel in the moonlight. Their pale skin seemed to glow, though Laura could not see their face. Their black hair caused the light to create a glowing halo around their head.

“Move over, buttercup,” the angel, who sounded suspiciously like Carm, whispered.

“Carm?”

“Who else?” she said lightly, laughing slightly before taking a sharp intake of breath. Laura slid over slowly, making room for Carm next to her. “Sometime tonight would be preferable beautiful.”

“You sure know how to charm a girl.”

“You are making room for me in your bed, so I will count this as a win,” Carmilla said smugly. Laura swung her arm to hit Carmilla on her shoulder. It was too dark to notice that Carmilla flinched. “Who knew the newbie could be so violent?” Carmilla chuckled.

“Shut up and get it.”

“Now who is charming who?”

“You're letting all the cold air in!” Laura whined. Finally, Carmilla slipped under the covers, clad in her own night gown. She carefully, almost meticulously, slid between the covers, favoring her left side.

“It’s about time.”

They laid in silence, coveting the feeling of another person’s presence in such an intimate space.

“Carm?” Laura asked timidly.

“Hmm?” Carmilla replied sleepily.

“What did she mean by sacrifices?” It was a question that plagued her thoughts, even dreams, since she heard Mother speak of it. It was kind of funny how the name Mother was like an insult in her mind.

“Well,” Carmilla started uncertainly, “the work Mother requires us to do, in exchange for freedom the rest of the time, is find sacrifices for... something. She says that information is need to know and we don’t need to know. You and I, we are the lures.”

They laid in silence again. Laura could feel Carmilla stiff beside her. Something didn’t quite add up. So they were lures. So what? What is the worst…thing…..they could……….lure? Oh, God.

“Carmilla?” Laura asked. “We aren’t going to be luring _people_ are we?” Carmilla remained silent, which was answer enough. “We are going be kidnapping people, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers?!” Laura’s voice grew shriller as she continued to talk.

“Calm down there, sweetheart.”

“Do NOT tell me to calm down. I am going to become a murderer.”

“You aren’t murdering anyone. You're just…bringing them to someone who will.” Laura turned away from Carmilla to face the ceiling, not that she could see her anyways. “And, you aren’t luring brothers and mothers and fathers. We only go after girls, the virgin girls.”

“That makes me feel _so_ much better, Carm!”

“You know what?! I’ve been doing this by myself for _decades_. I begged Mother for a companion, someone to help me out, a friend.” Carmilla let out a frustrated sigh “I know this isn't ideal, but the payoff is amazing. I know it doesn’t make it worth it, but maybe you will make it close.”

Carmilla nudged her hand against Laura’s underneath the sheets. Laura sighed in defeat. She linked her pinky with Carmilla’s.

“Fine. It is only every twenty years. I guess I can live with that.” Carmilla tensed again.

“Laura, you _have_ to live with it. You heard her. You are not allowed to leave.”

“What’s she going to do?” Laura asked defiantly.

“This.” Carmilla peeled back the covers. Laura opened her mouth to protest and say once again that Carmilla is letting the cold air in, but was silenced when she noticed what Carmilla was referencing. Bruises coated Carmilla’s face. Carmilla lifted her nightgown to right under her boobs. The left side was similar to her face. “Mother does not tolerate insubordination.”

“Does it hurt?” Laura reached over to stroke her hand along Carmilla’s bruised side, her eyes tracing the injured girl’s body. Her hands dipped into a fading scar on Carmilla’s right side. Carmilla’s breath hitched, from the pain or something else, it could not be determined.

“Nah, it is already starting to fade. One plus of being a vampire, we heal fast,” Carmilla attempted to joke. Laura hummed quietly, maybe in agreement, maybe in understanding. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this, but I needed someone, someone besides Mother,” Carmilla begged her to understand. Laura’s eyes drifted to look Carmilla in the eye. “I searched for years before finding you. You're smart and beautiful and kind. I need you.”

Laura remained silent. Though she was flattered that Carmilla thought those things of her, she couldn’t help but feel used. It was all too sick and twisted. But Carmilla looked so small, vulnerable, and sad, her exposed skin only added to this thought.

“Carmilla,” Laura started, “there is nothing that can be done now. I am here.” Carmilla looked like she was about ready to cry. “I won't let you be alone again.”

Tears started streaming down Carmilla’s face. It broke Laura’s heart to see anyone this vulnerable. She scooted herself closer to Carmilla, guiding Carmilla’s head to her chest, wrapping her arms around Carmilla’s shoulders. She held Carmilla for a while, letting her cry. It only took a day for their roles to be reversed. Laura could laugh at the irony, comforting one’s killer.

Though it wasn’t the life she envisioned for herself, Laura knew it was a life she could live with. She just needed to ignore her “job”. Being with Carm could be enough. Traveling the world could be enough. Together, they could be enough for each other.

Together, they cried. Laura thought she was all cried out, but the tears kept coming. Tonight, Laura vowed that she would stop crying. This was her life; she needs to live it.

Carmilla eventually stopped crying. Exhausted, Carmilla’s breathing grew shallow, signifying sleep.

Laura placed a kiss on the top of Carmilla’s head. She stopped crying around the time Carmilla did, but sleep would not come. Laura lay in bed, cradling the person who took her life, yet she felt at home. Carmilla was home.

She would never leave her home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't my favorite chapter, the next one will be pretty interesting. The Ell arc is next so yay.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so any constructive criticism would be appreciated. I pretty much have the entire story planned out, but I am open to suggestions and comments. If you have any questions about why I wrote what I did, just ask either here or at my tumblr: squeakylemons.


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